I am having trouble belonging to my body

This fact is not new

I can hear my mother screaming at me

“I can’t do anything about it!”

She was in shock that I believed that she had power

Power over her words

Power over her actions

Power over her life

Power over her body

Patriarchy is not part of her vocabulary

She doesn’t know what it means

She doesn’t know that it is what has her chained

To a world where she doesn’t have agency

She doesn’t even know that choice exists

Which is why she looks at me like if I came from a different world

“Ay Mija” is what she says

When I fight for my freedom

When she sees me use my words freely

When I decide to take action

When I tell her how I choose to live

When I fight with myself to take back my body

To this day, she doesn’t say what she feels

Because all she learned was how to say yes when a man demanded something of her

And her body learned that it did not belong to her  

And I am learning that my body belongs to me

But it’s hard to sit in it

When a history of patriarchy continues to take my soul

Like it took my mother and grandmothers soul

-Angelica Flores

3 thoughts on “Body

  1. Very powerful. I am reading “The Female Man” (1975) by Joanna Russ right now. Russ portrays patriarchy as a character that resides within us. The novel is pretty experimental in format, but that part seemed right on the nose, still.


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