“You Need To Get Close To Source”

I need to get closer to Source; God, Mother Earth, the universe. I believe in all three. Interestingly this was my therapist’s recommendation. “You are not alone. Before you make a decision on where to go, you need to go back to Source and ask for guidance. You need to get close to Source.”

I did not realize that we would have conversations about spirituality, but it is something that I am definitely open to. I welcome it especially because I grew up having faith and even though that is the case, I have ventured off and am in great need of spiritual guidance.

I was instructed to pray. I was also told to pay attention to my dreams because sometimes, Source reaches people that way.

I am not going to lie. I did not think that a message would come in my dream. Like I said, I have not been close to Source in a while and although I respect my therapist, I didn’t really think that what she said would happen, especially that night.

I laid down and mentally prepared myself to pray. I closed my eyes and since I was taught to pray in Spanish, I started praying

Padre nuestro que estas en el cielo santi” … and then I would fall asleep.

I don’t know if it was minutes or hours later, but I would wake up and say to myself “Shit, I was supposed to be praying!” and then I would start again, this time with a different prayer.

Dios mio, me arrepiento de todo Corazon” … and then I would zone out and go to sleep.

I woke up once again. “Not again!”

I went on like this a few more times. I never finished a prayer.

Instead, I had a dream. In my dream, I was flying over the United States except instead of seeing land, water, and buildings, I was flying over a life size map like if I were a magnifying glass.

I flew over cities that I had considered moving to like Los Angeles, New York, New Mexico. I also hovered over other random cities.  Each time I reached one of those cities, I would pause, think, and say to myself “Nope!” before continuing on to another city. I did this multiple times until I reached Chicago. I hovered over Chicago and I said “This one!” and then I woke up.

Chicago? What business do I have in Chicago and especially in this pandemic?

I woke up and thought nothing of it.

The following day, I had a conversation with a co-worker, and she told me that she couldn’t make a meeting because she needed to attend a class that she was taking for her Masters degree in Chicago and she was on Chicago time.

Chicago?

That same day, after work I started watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Lorelai mentioned Chicago!


Chicago again? Oh hell no.

That same day, on another episode of Gilmore Girls, Rory mentioned the Chicago Bulls after she saw that her best friend Lane joined the high school’s cheerleading squad.

Then, on that same day, I received an email from Loyola University. Years ago, I had signed up on a list serve to receive information about their program in multimedia studies. Honestly, I didn’t know that Loyola University was in Chicago. It was different than Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. Regardless of the mix up, there in my email was a reminder that they were having an upcoming workshop on the program that I was interested in.

Chicago?!!!

Could this be a coincidence? What would I do in Chicago? Was this one of those times where you mention a red car and all of a sudden you start seeing a red car everywhere?

I have no idea. Well, my gut is telling me this is Source but I don’t know. Does it really happen like this?

I am going to tell my therapist about my dream AND I will make no decisions yet about my next steps.

Thank you for reading my blog and I hope you are enjoying my stories and my poetry!

Angelica

3 thoughts on ““You Need To Get Close To Source”

  1. Angelica, that is so cool on several levels. You prayed and the dream came about where to live! Praying relaxes you so much that you fall asleep immediately (at “voluntad” my child lets out a huge yawn every night). Chicago has so much to offer! (um, and Madison is 3 hours from Chicago : )

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    1. At first, I was mad at myself for not finishing a prayer but I realized that I don’t have to say a “formal” prayer to be connected. I really like how you put it “it relaxes” me that I fall asleep. I didn’t even think about that way. I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life and change is already here. I needed to focus on my mind first and now, changing locations is what is tugging at my heart. Imagine. Chicago?! lol And 3 hours is not too bad. Maybe we will meet one day!

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      1. The prayer relaxed you and put you in a spiritual frame of mind, ready to receive the information your soul already knew. I look forward to hearing your process if/when you decide to go for it and move to Chicago. Is your work easily transportable/transferable? Are you thinking of a career change? Perhaps in summer, once we’re all vaccinated, we might meet. : )

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