Have You Ever?

Have you ever needed to step away from your family to truly heal? If the answer is yes, then you understand the pain that comes with distancing yourself from the people that you love because no matter how toxic someone is, there is that possibility that you love them regardless. Loving them does not mean you have to put up with them. They won’t understand this, but the best that you can do is love them from a distance.

For those of you that don’t love some of your family members, that is completely fine. I have heard time and time again that family is everything, but I don’t agree with that because some people really have some fucked up family members that cause serious harm.

I’ve had to distance myself from my family or else I would not have been able to survive mentally and emotionally. I wouldn’t have been able to move forward with my own life. I finally have a safe space and am surrounded (virtually and by phone of course due to Covid) by people who don’t gaslight me. I don’t have to argue with anyone about why my feelings are valid. I don’t have to convince anyone that verbal abuse is abuse and very damaging. I don’t have to defend myself when I call out patriarchy and I no longer feel like I don’t have a voice.

I feel liberated. I feel like my life is my own and I am finally healing. At the same time, I am grieving.

We are family oriented and I can honestly say that not even the biggest scandals, you know the type of scandals that are kept a secret for years, broke us apart. Unfortunately, this is because we were taught to put family over our own mental, emotional, and sometimes physical well-being. This ideology is completely wrong and despite all of that, I feel like there has been a death in the family. It feels like all of my family members have died.

I feel liberated AND I am grieving and that is okay.

To those of you that have had to step away from family to truly heal, I congratulate you. I also acknowledge that you are in pain, so take the time to grieve.

Thank you for following my blog and I hope you like this post!

P.S. I am excited that I am able to open up to all of you! That’s how I know I am healing!


One thought on “Have You Ever?

  1. Congratulations on making such an important discovery about your family, that you need to be away from them to heal. I did that a few years back and it helped me a lot. The grief is real, it also is grief for the particular family we have that put us through so much pain.


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