Sometimes it feels like I’m playing catch up while my trauma fucks with me and places traps for me along the road. My trauma laughs at me every chance it gets and doesn’t seem to see how hurt I am and how difficult things can be for me. I stand in anger and when that anger has left me, I sigh a breath of relief. I still see the road ahead of me and that is all I need. I have reassurance that I am moving forward. That certainty can be gained by looking back and seeing how much territory I’ve travelled. And here I thought I was behind. I travel this road alone and it is completely mine. Trauma lives only on the sidelines but I control my life.