Life

Life is passing me by  Decisions Decisions  Make one already  There is a lot of moving parts  I move in different directions  And then I come back to the same place  I couldn’t decide  Trust  Trust  Trust  I’m scared  Can I trust that I can take care of myself  I risked a lot and I [...]

The Lowest Point

I wrote this in December of 2020 : I don’t want to look back anymore. Unfortunately, the future is fogged with uncertainty and possibility of death. I am terrified and I must learn to live in this body full of pain and dread. What do I have left? The present. In the present, tears run [...]

Losing

I'm losing what I've wantedOut of fear that I don't deserve itAll I need to do is show up as myselfAnd declare that it's what I wantJust say the wordsAnd it's all mineI have one foot in the door and one foot outDo I listen to my heart?Or do I give my fears the benefit [...]

Safe

There's just something Something about… That makes me feel safe  I bury my head on… Chest  And I stay there for a few seconds  I never wanted someone else or others to be my safety  I think that is an unfair expectation  But the world scared me partially stuck and almost numb Unable to make [...]

Speak Up

When you've been silenced for so longIt's easy to believe that you don't have a voiceThat you're not strong enough to speak in rooms that have people that continue to erase youTake up spaceThere's enough room in the world for youSpeak even when your voice shakes and cracksEven when you feel like you may not [...]

The Professor

I used to sit in coffee shops and write. I loved smelling the coffee and hearing the sound of clinking plates as the baristas served pastries to the sitting customers. I was social back then and I would make conversation with anyone sitting near my table. This happened often and I always sat there, amazed [...]

ALIVE

I wrote the following in December 2020 : I will not write about my past. I tried and tried but my tears kept smudging the pages and my pen refused to keep going. It refused to continue in such chaos. I sat there for hours looking at the ruined paper wishing my stories would come [...]

Im Not Here To…

I'm not here to please youI'm not here to heal youYou cannot treat my skin like your blanketYou cannot throw it off of you when you've received all of the warmth that you needMy warmth and my body are mine and mine onlyIf I invite you to share space with meThat is because I expect [...]