It’s hard for me to sit still. When I do, all the emotions I have been suppressing come right out. The moment I decide to pause is when I will crumble. I will turn inside out. I don’t know how I am going to survive it. I don’t think I have time for it. I need to work. I need to figure out my next step. I have bills to pay. The day I sit still is the day you won’t hear from me for a while. I’m not ready. I am not ready to lose control.