I will be spending my day reading Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown.
I’ve noticed that I keep myself from experiencing joy and pleasure. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t think I’m worthy. I think it’s because I’m used to being on survival mode.
I have my basic needs met, for now. See, even writing “for now” is a problem. I’m waiting for the othe shoe to drop.
I can’t continue to deprive myself and make myself miserable. Thankfully, I’m okay and I need to learn to do things instead of waiting to accomplish something (get a new job, lose weight, heal more, etc.) before I engage in joy.
I only have one life and I seriously need to make the most of it.
I’m even thinking about possibly making a series of blog posts dedicated to me saying yes to myself and saying yes to experiencing joy.
My first step though is to read Pleasure Activism and remind myself that I can’t keep depriving myself of the things that make me happy.