Journaling : Early Morning Thoughts

Good morning!

I journaled early this morning and I feel good. Below is a list of the things that are on my mind this morning.

1. Internal conflict about posting poetry related to family drama

So much went down at my grandpa’s funeral. It was painful and violent. I am still dealing with the aftermath. I wrote a poem touching on the subject in my previous post titled, The Funeral. I posted The Funeral to my Instagram and my Facebook profile last night and when I woke up, I deleted the Facebook post knowing that extended family members would see it. I keep going back and forth about posting what happened because it will add to the drama, but I also want to honor my feelings and share the truth about the toxicity, family secrets, and disgusting behavior that have hurt me as a child and as an adult. I also know hurt people hurt people, so I want to have empathy but in doing so, I am neglecting the anger that I feel and I am especially neglecting the sadness that I feel about my grandpa passing and not being able to grieve with my grandmother in the place that used to be my home. At the same time, I can honor my feelings without feeling the need to post. Ugh!

2. Halle Bailey casted as Ariel

I am excited over Disney casting Halle Bailey as Ariel but annoyed that so many people are hyper focused on her hair not being bright red knowing that for some people, their anger isn’t about her hair, it’s about them being mad that a black woman was casted as Ariel. Let’s just call it what it is. It’s racism. There are people online arguing that “scientifically speaking” Ariel couldn’t be black because she doesn’t receive sun under the ocean. Then an expert (as in she is an actual scientist and has the credentials to prove it) went on to say that scientifically speaking Mermaids aren’t real. Lol She said that even if Mermaids were real, some of them having dark skin was possible. She then listed many factors that would allow for there to be dark skinned mermaids like geography, facts about the way the sun interacts with the ocean, the existence of black and brown fishes and other sea creatures in the deep sea, etc. If you’re interested in seeing the discussion around Halle Bailey being Ariel, go to TikTok.

3. September eleven

Photo from the 9/11 Memorial and Museum website : https://www.911memorial.org/

This is a sad day overall. I remember like it happened yesterday. The September eleven attacks were traumatic and devastating. The videos and pictures are horrific and there is a sadness that I can’t explain. Many of you may be feeling this today too.

4. The beauty of friendships.

Romantic love is always front and center in our culture, but I’d like to see more conversation around the importance and beauty of friendships. I don’t know about you, but I have been able to get through some of my toughest moments because I had a handful of good friends.

Whew, clearly there is a lot on my mind this morning (I didn’t touch on everything!) and I am glad that I can share my thoughts with you!

Angelica Flores

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