I planned to submit to a literary magazine, but the topic is memories and love. I didn’t realize how hard writing about love was going to be for me. I tried to think back to a time where I felt like I was loved deeply or when I was surrounded by love and not a single memory came up. Not. One.
Apparently, I am not ready to write about anything else that is not about the pain. I am still in it. I am still grieving.
I wanted to change course and write about self-love, but I couldn’t do that either. So, I wrote this poem instead :
It’s hard for me to write about love after being hurt by the people that I love deeply
I pulled back and took my love from wherever I had it
Castigue a los que no lo merecían
Hasta me castigue a mi misma
I held on to my love
Terrified of making a mistake again
I told myself that I’d give it to myself
But love doesn’t work that way
Love is meant to be shared
I know this is a sad way to start up my blog again but it’s what I am feeling today and I’m going to honor that.
Thank you for sticking around and I’m excited to share more of my writing with you.